haih...its been one hell of a week..i've been mistakes all along...and my previous blog is total shit ..people dont believe it..hahah erm well i just need to get back to myself and from now on i want to be brave to face my problems..i want everything now to go right...i want everybody to be happy...and i want every problems to solve right away...i want to be caring...i dont want a girl to cry for me because i disappointed or made her angry or sad...i want to be more sociable...i dont want to just not make friends and feel sad for myself...i dont want to be in a lonely world anymore...i think im punishing myself too much..i think im thinking and worrying too much...i need to stand tall now...i need to be positive everytime now..i dont want to be sad anymore i dont want to be depress anymore...i need myself to realise my mistakes and learn from it and never to do it again...
how am i suppose to keep both things normal at the same time?..which i think its hard for me..but i'll change...i wont do any mistakes and just u know think of what i should do and what i should say...does everyone has to be like this? be very very very very very carefull of each word and each action that he do..to avoid mistakes? or is it just me? is it maybe they are just sooo good at things that they dont have to be carefull and they wont make a single mistakes? i made those are just unbearable and just unbelievable for a guy like me...
i dont know...i just cant bear to see that everything is not working out all together and just cant bear to see anybody sad and all disappointed in me..i'll get so embarassed and just depressed...haih..i wonder how am i suppose to not make mistakes...is it so hard? i mean..every single tme is also my mistakes..and its really frustrating because how great it could be if i just dont make mistake...but at the end of the day a mistake will surely happen...haih...maybe i need to just understand the signals...and just really think it through of what im goin to do and what am i going to say..but sometimes this takes a lot of time because i think and think and i couldnt make out my mind..i dont know how does this works..i think i need some serious profesional counselling..hahahah..but not now..haih...trials and spm is right next to the corner..
i hope i can live like everyone and just be ordinary...i dont want to be the only exception and just punishing myself and not able to connect with society..haih...yeah i deactivated my facebook account...well its not because of society its about studying...i need to prove to those who dislike me..and i deleted my friendster..well no one is using right so yeah delete le..facebook is sometimes just so addicting..haha i'll blog..to express to just understand people more..and no its not for english improvement...seriously my previous is so immature and just so stupid..nvm..i'll make a change for u and for me..light up the darkness...
oh anyways tell me whose coming to my birthday party? i'll let everybody know in facebook..hahha u see the addiction in facebook?
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