days..im just not god enough..

well in these 2 weeks...quite number of things happened that i wish to go back but what past is past and the future is still blur for me..haih..i lost in ISC for both snooker and badminton which is very saddening for me...and i lost in the school badminton championship too..i have lost so many things in my this 17 years of age...and none of it i ever won to be somebody..im just a nobody after all...now school reopened after 2 weeks of holiday...i've been getting shitty results and this is just bad..i think this will represent my results for trials and i think i need a change...haih i cant get myself to be like this for all my life...haih...

talkin back about me performing at jusco with tek yi in jusco...i think i made a lot of mistake..haih i sang and i played the guitar...i played with the wrong timing and i lost my lyrics when i sing...and i said some inappropriate things..haih..this is just some total disaster for a first timer like me..haih birthday party is coming..worrying about it...piano exam is in 2 weeks away...worrying about it..trials is in 53 days more...im seriously worrying about that...i hope eveything works out fine..

no man is a failure only if he puts in his soul to do those things that he love...
everything would start to fail if he doesnt have effort and commitment
there's no chance of success if we dont focus and control our life...
discipline is needed if we are ever to be succesfull..
no one wants to fail so dont judge people who won and be jealous over their win
every successfull man wont complain at anything

haih...im going down now and its time to get back up again..for those 53 days..i will work hard and get good results for trials..piano exams..i will spent at least 2 hours on the piano till exam...haih hope and prayed everything will work out fine for my life..there are just too many downs in my life avoiding me to be successful and i want to succeed in my life..at least for once in my these 17 years of my life..at least something to be proud about in the future...please god i prayed for this to make it happen...light up the darkness..

days...i need realisation...

haih...its been one hell of a week..i've been mistakes all along...and my previous blog is total shit ..people dont believe it..hahah erm well i just need to get back to myself and from now on i want to be brave to face my problems..i want everything now to go right...i want everybody to be happy...and i want every problems to solve right away...i want to be caring...i dont want a girl to cry for me because i disappointed or made her angry or sad...i want to be more sociable...i dont want to just not make friends and feel sad for myself...i dont want to be in a lonely world anymore...i think im punishing myself too much..i think im thinking and worrying too much...i need to stand tall now...i need to be positive everytime now..i dont want to be sad anymore i dont want to be depress anymore...i need myself to realise my mistakes and learn from it and never to do it again...

how am i suppose to keep both things normal at the same time?..which i think its hard for me..but i'll change...i wont do any mistakes and just u know think of what i should do and what i should say...does everyone has to be like this? be very very very very very carefull of each word and each action that he do..to avoid mistakes? or is it just me? is it maybe they are just sooo good at things that they dont have to be carefull and they wont make a single mistakes? i made those are just unbearable and just unbelievable for a guy like me...

i dont know...i just cant bear to see that everything is not working out all together and just cant bear to see anybody sad and all disappointed in me..i'll get so embarassed and just depressed...haih..i wonder how am i suppose to not make mistakes...is it so hard? i mean..every single tme is also my mistakes..and its really frustrating because how great it could be if i just dont make mistake...but at the end of the day a mistake will surely happen...haih...maybe i need to just understand the signals...and just really think it through of what im goin to do and what am i going to say..but sometimes this takes a lot of time because i think and think and i couldnt make out my mind..i dont know how does this works..i think i need some serious profesional counselling..hahahah..but not now..haih...trials and spm is right next to the corner..

i hope i can live like everyone and just be ordinary...i dont want to be the only exception and just punishing myself and not able to connect with society..haih...yeah i deactivated my facebook account...well its not because of society its about studying...i need to prove to those who dislike me..and i deleted my friendster..well no one is using right so yeah delete le..facebook is sometimes just so addicting..haha i'll blog..to express to just understand people more..and no its not for english improvement...seriously my previous is so immature and just so stupid..nvm..i'll make a change for u and for me..light up the darkness...

oh anyways tell me whose coming to my birthday party? i'll let everybody know in facebook..hahha u see the addiction in facebook?

days...its nice meeting u all.

well i think of what happened..i know i suck as a person a son a boyfriend a friend..i think its better for me to just keep away from everything..and just for as long as it takes to just keep quiet and just dont wanna care a single thing anymore..i think i'm better of alone..i dont want so many people to be so fucking disappointed in me..i think this is what best..since im ignorant or a bastard..well its just i dont know how to be a person ..and so since everybody is so hurt and so frustrated over me..i guess i shall just go away until the day where i will go to australia..well speaking of that..im very serious of going australia and just start my life from there..and i think i wont be coming back here anymore..if i do..i'd only see my family..since im such a worst friend u could all possibly have..i think i should cancel the birthday party and also farewell party too..to all the friends i had before...well thanks for everything...and yeahh...i think its better if im just alone...i dont want anymore of this...haih its just beat the crap out of me when someone just tell u how suck u really are..maybe i just suck..and im not a good person..i shall cancel all of my facebook friendster or msn...i no longer exist in the society today...for this blog..oh i will keep..it helps our english right? so yeah..goodbye for the moment i guess..

days...stomach failure..

since 3 weeks of exam is over..Mr.Mahandran is leaving...holidays just started or 2 weeks..haha and yeahh starwalk just ended yesterday...these are the things happening now...so yeah...i cant wait for my birthday party...anyway...talking about exams...hell its 3 weeks..and thank god it finishes..because arghh hard to cope with every subject..will have to focus on some..just some now...because now its just a very short of time so yeah..haih our class teacher is leaving..he had the transfer to another school...so yeah..the last day of exam..we did take a lot of photos..u can see them in facebook..haih who is gonna protect us in the school when he leaves? nvm its just a few mor months..we can escape the horror in school..haha and everything would just settle from there on..the only thing is our trial and spm results so yeah...holidays...what are my plans? well apart from staying at home? club everyday? sleep everyday?..yeahh pretty much none...going to watch movies from day to day if i had to..maybe will go out with friends..haha starwalk yesterday was epic...jia xin and i walked the whole 10 km..haha and after that met up with joel and chee ying..then e from stadium wak to de garden..it was seriously tiring for me...the day before i had tough badminton training..then suddenly walk so much..haha body ache all around now..hahhaa we ate at papa rich..then from papa rich we went to jusco for coffee..thats for the day..well yea thats all actually..

haih..its sad to know that rafa benitez left liverpool..well looking at the bright side he should...the club is in need of help seriously..now another manager..dont know who is it...somemore some of the big stars are going elsewhere...maybe these few years would be liverpools' worst..haih...hope they will bounce back to claim the premiership title..anyway...thats one thing..the other i've been sick since last month..i cant sing...i cant eat the food that i like..well i had a flu then it became serious...i got cough core throat and ulcer everywhere...then it takes 1 week to recover...and that period was going to have exams...then during the 2nd week..i started to get gastrics...then it became serious..and i got heartburn where ur stomach got a lot of acids..thn it rushes to ur oesophagus...yeahh and it just burns it..i was seriously suffering for the first 2 days...then after consulting the doctor...now im much better...but most f the times i'll be hungry and just very irregular...sometimes suddenly i will get hungry or sometims all of the sudden i'll get full and not to eat food...haha yeahh..

well the next thing now im all planning about is my birthday party and i cant wait..haha its been so fast 1 year already...and i still very much remember last year...hahah hope this year would be great...

days..the thing about love..

Love

Love will come find you
Just to remind you
Of who you are
Hold on
It will forsake you
Threaten to break you
Take what you got
Everybody laughs
Everybody cries
Sure it could hurt you baby
But give it a lil try
See that's the thing about love
Friends
Sometimes will blind you
Sneak up behind you
You cant give enough
Then life
It will embrace you
Totally amaze you
So you don't give up
Everybody laughs
Everybody cries
Sure it could hurt you baby
But give it a lil try
See that's the thing about love
Don't tell me that i'm not the only that's going thru it all
Ohhh sometimes I feel like i'm the only that's going thru it all
But its time
Oh its time
For me to shine
Hey
Its my time
Oh its time
For me to shine
Its my time
Said its my time
For me to shine
Its my time
Its bout time
For me to shine
Everybody laughs
Everybody cries
Sure it could hurt u baby
But give it a lil try
That's the thing about love
That's the thing about love
That's the thing about
That's the thing about love