days..been a dick.

well its wednesday and im not going to school because loongsheng invited me to play badminton with him and i accepted it..it was really not what i want but going to school also got nothing to do might as well just play some good badminton and release some stress..haha i found out that i cant do much in school..just playing and chatting and just wasting my time with friends..haha that craziness..you just cant find anywhere..haha anyway yeahh life's been a dick seriously..and thinking back and just by looking at the past..i was such a dick..hahah i never thought i was such a dick until i realised..anyway i just want to say sorry for the people that i hurt them so deep and so hard...well im truly am sorry..im changing day by day...wishing to be better..but no matter what i was a dick...im still a dick..but im trying to change not to be a dick =) hahah well schools been fun and well boring..nothing much these days..getting myself ready for spm and comparing laptops hahaha now what i want is a laptop and a smartphone..and a drums set and a keyboard and some money to buy some ps3 games =) hahahhaa if i can save that kind of money to buy all that...it will take 4 years =( well its just a dream..

found out that jia xiong is going to the same college same university same course and same degree..hahahaha im just so freaking glad that there is someone who is similar to mine..just that he is going to the february intake and im going for the july intake...deciding whether to follow him or not..that will be great hahah trinity college and university of melbourne..how great it is..anyway life's been like that and it will be like that till spm ends..haha hope it will end soon...theres so many plans..can't wait for it..

piano exams in 2 weeks time...driving test is in 3 weeks time...spm is in 4 weeks time..damn...2 dicky months to go through...laptop that im going to save money and buy is Dell XPS 15. hahah its really nice.. phone well will wait for Iphone 4G..hahah plans after plans...counting chickens before it hatches...study first lah...hahah spm =) light up the darkness..

imagine.

imagine life is being fair
imagine life is simple
imagine time is slow
imagine the world is in peace
imagine theres always love..
imagine you and I
we can be happy and just loving at all times


understanding between the two of us
problems settled even the hardest one
imagine religion is not a problem
imagine when rationality play its part
imagine when stress are controlled
imagine theres a bridge over troubled water
imagine our minds are calm and relaxed
trying to go to a place where it feels like home


appreciating time as it goes
imagine hard work pays off
imagine there's always a piano playing your song
imagine confidence and righteousness
imagine life as the drums rhythm
imagine your the best
imagine God that loves you
imagine that all prayers are heard
imagine sins are forgiven


to win over misunderstanding
to win over chances and luck
to be in a state of winning everything
to be the one in everything
to imagine winning the war from many battles.
to take things as easy as possible
imagine hard times being at ease
imagine everything that is good in this world
imagine, imagine, just imagine.

days..bridge over troubled water

well its been a month since i've blog..well its long..haih..im sorry blog for not blogging..i've been away from this..and i've been with the wind..and i should come back more often..to really let it all out..well..i dont know why? i dont know how? but i feel really down these days...and no one is there to help..even the closest friend i got also dont want to care..maybe its because its the same problem?..i think its because my problem is just too personal..and i wont be able to share it with other people..i dont know..but all i know is that i feel very very down and i've been very very busy..not only that..i also dont have the mood to do anything..just by the computer everyday searching for something to do..or to just waste my time..blog, i know i shouldnt be doing that..i should be studying..just off the phone..just off the friggin computer and just study and let everything come to a halt and just do my thing until spm ends...but blog, my computer..i feel very connected to it..its not funny..but i think to say it in general..i'm more closer to my computers than my mum and dad..my parents are not at home..i have no place to go to..i cant drive...if i can..i'll be sure to drive to any beach or to any place to really be in peace and to just clear my mind..i'll be there in the morning..and just walk along the shores for as long as i can till sunsets..i havent really admire the sunsets in Malaysia...i should just try that..how i wish i can just get the hell out of my really troubled life..hahaha

well blog.. its not that i want to keep secrets from u..this was suppose to be a private blog..anyway...i have no comment whatsoever to anything right now...but as i am writing this blog..i'm thinking of just fully concentrating on my piano..my studies thats all..and no i dont wanna be so stress about my drums..its killing me.
about piano..yes fully 100%..i want to be as good as i dont know yiruma? hahah if thats possible..well why cant i? hahhaa i just have to stop comparing myself to other people...because if i do..i feel like im the worst piano player ever...cause they can seriously play and i cannot..maybe its because they pay full attention to their piano and they worked hard..unlike me..i try everything..and not great at it...and this is not what i want..i want to be great at something..and piano should be career next time...haha talking about career yes...double degree...one of it is music..i've decided..currently im in grade 6...if i can get through this exam by next month...wow..grade 7 baby..hahaha i can play my most favourite song by the moment 'bridge over troubled waters'..i'm really looking forward to grade 7..haha how grade is it if my piano teacher can teach me till i get into university...you know what...what i said last time about who is better drum teacher or piano teacher..i think i feel more connected to my piano teacher...well both are really good teacher..but based on the effort from the teacher..yes definately piano..hahah thank you uncle peter..for giving me those really motivating compliments..i dont hear that often from people..even those closest to me...

about studies...i've decided to go melbourne to further my studies there...and now what im feeling..is that i cant wait to go there...meet new friends there...before this i was really in a dilemma..choosing between taylors college in kl or trinity college in melbourne...well my dai sou recommend me to australia..and what she say is also true about her first encounters when she first when to college...and i think i get through life there...who knows maybe a better one..as i know..australians are really very kind..i think now its going to be a month till spm..so im gonna work hard starting today..19th..so yeahh just play my playlist from my computer..get way from it..take my biology book for this week and start studying...until next week onto physics..haha i think can..im pretty sure i can..u know why blog?...2 days of just studying intensively..i can get 57...and its far better than last time which is 40...and if i can study for 8 days straight..imagine the A's that i can get for physics bio chemistry english est morale malay add math and math...9 A's and dam a scholarship..well mum i told u that i'll try for a scholarship..haha i'll do that for u...

oh my god..i feel so motivated right now..i think i should keep this feeling up..it feels good..hahah so yeahh lets work hard..and light up the darkness..and get across that bridge over troubled waters..